An Athens Georgia store was robbed by a man that  got away with some loot.  Fortunately for authorities, this man had completed a job application just prior to robbing the store.  And yes, he did use his real name.

Demetrius Robinson, age 28, apparently completed the job application as he waited for the store to clear out some customers.  Although he did provide his real name on the employment application, he used his Uncle’s telephone number and a fake address.  It took authorities a few days to track this dumb criminal down.

Police believe Demetrius Robinson may be connected to other area armed robberies.

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The founder of CNN, Ted Turner, says that global warming will lead to cannibalism in 30-40 years.  Strangely enough, Ted Turner also owns a restaurant chain named Ted’s Montana Grill.  The restaurants specialty?  Bison Burgers.  Let’s hope that Ted does not get any ideas to serve human burgers 30-40 years down the road.

According to reports, Mr. Turner indicated that Iraq insurgents are nothing more then patriots - defending their homeland against the US occupation.  Mr. Turner also indicated that our military budget is too high, surpassing the military budgets of 190 nations combined.  He indicated China does not want to invade us, that they “just want to sell us shoes.”

Cash Burch, age 24, was arrested yesterday after a man found him locked inside his Ford Explorer.

According to reports, the Ford Explorer has an anti-theft system which disables the door locks after the battery loses power.  Unfortunately for Burch, his attempts at starting the vehicle drained the battery and caused the anti-theft features to kick in.

In an attempt to escape, the car thief damaged the dashboard of the Explorer.  However, this dumb criminal was still locked inside when police arrived.  The police officers opened the door from the outside and charged Cash Burch with third degree burglary.

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On Monday, Ocala Florida Police were involved in a police chase involving a tow truck, with a vehicle attached to it.

According to reports, a sexual battery suspect named Brett Wass, was fleeing pursuing police officers in the tow truck.  Wass, age 28, apparently smashed into a police car then crashed into some trees.

After crashing the tow truck, Wass jumped out of the vehicle in an attempt to flee police on foot.  Police quickly apprehended this criminal who now faces additional charges related to this incident.

For more information on this story, and police dash cam video, please click here.

A Bellevue Ohio man, named Art Price, was arrested for allegedly having sex with a picnic table.  According to reports, the police evidence includes video footage of the sex act.

A Bellevue Police Captain indicated that Art Price was was seen on four occasions having sex with his picnic table.  Because of the close proximity to a school, the charge was elevated to a felony.

According to reports, Art Price penetrated the umbrella hole on the picnic table.  Police insist that Art Price admitted to these bizarre sex acts.

At age 40, Art Price is married with three school age children.

Neighbors are reportedly worried that Price was released from jail.  They have justified concerns for the safety of their own children and the children that attend the nearby school.